Wednesday, August 29, 2007

See below.

I've been informed that my references to journalman and henry tilney are less than amusing so we'll try a few without them and see how it goes.

My excitement has dimmed somewhat since I discovered the Dragonlance movie, but that won't stop Rebecca and me from seeing it as soon as it comes out in theatres straight to DVD. I may even need to put on my wizard hat and gold face paint and really make a night of it. You better believe that as soon as I have a release date you will have a Google invitation to watch this lil' nugget of cinematic brilliance. Possibly a double-feature of Dragonlance and Dungeons and Dragons, just to really short-circuit your minds. Gosh, I might have just found my plans for the best night ever.

But alas, now I'm back to the real world of 'working' and not 'geeking out.' I've gotta say, work is wildly overrated. I've found you can really avoid most of it by doing something immediately when asked while the person is standing over your shoulder. Then, they just assume you're always working at hyper-speed and walk back to their desks marvelling at your ability to be the real life version of the Bionic Woman, minus the boobs.

Now if only I were actually a bionic man, maybe I could just pull coffee out of the replicator in my chest, rather than being forced to walk across the street to get it. God, that'd be fun. I bet it's that gross packet coffee though, and not real coffee.

Last night, my fragile psyche was subjected to an incredibly suspenseful movie called High Tension. Without giving anything away of the plot's twist...aliens. It's always aliens. Contact, Signs, Invasion, War of the Worlds, The Others. COOL IT WITH THE ALIENS, DAMNIT!

Anyway, it's not aliens. Buuut, AvP 2 is coming out. Tagline: In Space...No One Can Hear You Scream (been there don't that), On Earth...It Doesn't Matter.

...

REALLY?

Whoever wrote that should probably receive a concrete saw to the gut.

No, but really, the twist was pretty unsatisfying. Basically, The Village had a better twist. At least that movie made sense. High Tension was an enjoyable movie though. Very pulse-pounding.

I think that's all for now. Back later with more excitement about my life.

3 comments:

John Barleycorn said...

I hate you, hate you for saying The Village had a better twist. The Village's twist was utter crap! And I guessed it from the get-go! At least with High Tension you didn't see it coming.

Also there's a case to be made for its analogousness for queerdom, which, though it's still a crap twist ending on a horror film, gives it the oomph of substance, something The Village was totally without.

Gidaren-kun said...

Well, here's my reasoning. The Village's twist was indeed retarded. However, all elements of the film make sense even after the twist is revealed. Stupid sense, but sense.

In High Tension, the twist makes about 75% of the movie make no sense realistically. How could she drive a car and a truck at the same time? How could she be at the farm getting head from a head before she got to the farm? How could she enter the gas station twice?

Mostly the car part bothered me, as it made no sense whatsoever and the only explanation was "she imagined it," which is silly.

The substance it gets at the end with the twist is nice, but it is Really heavy-handed. Like, BAM! get it! Her deviant sexuality is represented as a scary man!

And, given that that implies that her masturbation earlier while thinking of ladies summoned up this creep from her subconscious, I can't help but compare it to the only other movie I can think of where masturbation summons up a fantasy--Mulholland Drive, which also dealt with lesbianism and fantasy, but in a much more subtle and thoughtful manner. Perhaps it's unfair to compare a slasher flick with a drama, but the twist sort of seemed as though the director was like, "let's make it deep."

And I felt the same twist was done better in Identity, though I'll give it to this movie for insane gore and being really, really scary.

Oh, and if I never see someone hide under a bed to evade a killer again, it will be too soon.

John Barleycorn said...

You're totally right: a lot of High Tension does make sense, and requires independent explanation. Which may or may not ruin the film. When I first saw it, I was pissed. I wrote,

"All I know is that High Tension is one of the movies that could’ve been, was for a spell, then ultimately failed, dissolved into the vast moviescreen banks of my memory--not quite crap (definitely not quite The Fog), but not quite gold, either."

Comparing Mulholland Drive with High Tension is a wee bit unfair, and doesn't make sense. They're two entirely different films, altogether.

"They're two entirely different films."

Sorry: Airplane! joke.