Mass Effect Retardation

As usual, my punniness amuses me. Yesterday, I ran across this article in my daily web-browsings, and it (as most articles about video games in the mainstream news tend to) got my panties in a twist. Of course, it's probably too kind to call Fox "News," but they do have a lot of viewers who love to get spood-fed this crap about video games and it pisses me off.

Now, I haven't had the opportunity yet to play through the entirety of Mass Effect yet, though back in November I probably clocked a good 5-10 hours on it. I mean, first of all, this whole "sex scene" that has all these conservatives so flustered is tamer than 90% of PG-13 sex scenes I've ever seen. It features, as the video game guy in this feature says, "the side of an alien boob." It is hardly smut, and on the whole, looks to me to be done in the same cinematic style that the rest of the game is shot in. In short, if this scares them so much, no freaking wonder GTA makes them shit themselves.

But the thing that drives me the craziest is how everyone who offers an opinion on video games that is not actually IN the industry, has absolutely no clue what they are talking about. I'm totally fine with people feeling that a game with alien side-boob is not for them. It's not for everyone. But for God's sake, don't pretend like you know anything about the context of that scene when you're saying things like, "in some parts of this, you’ll see full digital nudity. Imagine! And the ability for the players to engage in graphic sex and the person who’s playing the game gets to decide exactly what’s going to happen between the two people, if you know what I mean…"

STFU, news lady from Fox. I've watched this scene, seeing as it's blasted all over the YouTubes. There is no image of alien or human vajayjay. There are no dangly bits. That alone makes it not "full digital nudity." Secondly, I (and a lot of other people) would no doubt love to see the game where you decide "exactly what's going to happen," because in that case, we'd be living in a world where pigs fly. And I'd like to see that game not get an Adults Only rating. The fact is, that Mass Effect, even from the first chapter that I have played through features so damn much talking, that I've never seen a talkier game. You have to plan out in advance how to even GET to this sex scene, and frankly, I doubt if even the horniest gamers out there are so desperate to see about 10 seconds of fake side-boob that they have to play through 30+ hours of talky-as-hell video game just to see it. I mean, in an age where porn is available for free whenever you want it on the interwebs, that's laughable. This is not a hundred years ago when petticoats got men aroused. It takes more than side-boob.

As an aside, when I was playing this game, I once went about 2-3 hours where I did not fight a single thing. Brennon, at the time, remarked that the game looked horrendously boring because all I was doing was reading shit. I mean, I can't even count the number of times I've read asinine stuff like "gamers don't read" or "gamers just like to shoot things." I think a game with a complex story and an AI capable of modeling a realistic relationship is--and I know this sounds crazy!--probably better for a person to experience than say...a marathon of Dancing with the Stars.

I also hate how all these people keep acting as though this game is designed to be in the hands of like, 12-year old children. It's rated M for a reason. Even this panel on Fox just sits there and says how it makes the job of parents harder to have to watch what their kids are doing. I mean, fracking imagine that. Actually taking a role in your child's development and helping to guide what they can and cannot play. One woman says that if an adult male has this game, his child will play it when he's not home. Well, either lock it up (gee, that was easy) or use the parental controls that are ON THE XBOX360. Freaking educate yourself and you won't have to worry about 11 year old Johnny somehow figuring out how to seduce a woman and sit through 30 hours of game with the possibility of not pissing her off so that she won't have sex with his character.

People's laziness just never ceases to astound me. Parents seem to think that before this age of technology, parenting was some sort of simple cakewalk where they were all perfect little angels.

And I know that Fox is of course going to blow this all out of proportion, but the fact is, stories about Mass Effect have been popping up all over the internet. This is bothersome to me, because as a gamer, these negative stereotypes are utterly ridiculous. The majority of gamers are not, in fact, 12-15. I mean, I will never understand why people insist on thinking that people who play videogames are inherently anti-social. It is no more anti-social than sitting around watching TV, movies, playing solitaire, reading.. All of these are activities typically done alone, or at the very least, don't promote conversation. So why is it that playing games, which is more interactive than any of these things, is seen as the root of all evil. I'm so tired of being seen as just another member of a group supposedly made up of pubescent boys and obese 30 year olds who live with their mothers and never see the light of day. And the fact is, that the media's portrayal of the gaming community in that way simply reinforces the stereotype for a bajillion other people--ones who actually KNOW people who play video games--who buy right into it.

In the end, I just wish people might for once a) look into what they offer an opinion on and b) realize that the gaming community is just that, a community, and not a collection of ultraviolent, emotionally-stunted "losers."

And frack you, Fox.

Return to Oz

Ah, my blog. Well, it's certainly been a while. I've been meaning to start writing in this again since I failed miserably at NaNoWriMo. This is now year 4 or so that I have failed, but I still don't want to give up. I mean I was REALLY close this time. There were extenuating circumstances...and those circumstances were not FFXII. My intention is to start writing more often, both in this blog about whatever comes to mind and in a more creative setting, to help myself write faster and thus be marginally more efficient during November. Of course, if I'm still in this job, which I intend to be, November will be a horrible month again...but life will always get in the way if I let it, so I won't. Bitch.

So, update on my life. Obviously, due to my extenuating circumstances, I am single once more. This is me waving my white flag and giving up for a while. I really want 2008 to be the year of me. I want to get re-acquainted with what I like about myself and whatever it is that other people like about me. Sometimes, it's difficult to see the good in myself. It's far easier to slip into a self-fulfilling prophecy about my being boring, but I know I used to think I was a fun, interesting guy. Sometime back in college probably, but I know I felt that way once. It would be a nice change to get back to feeling like that.

Hmm, what else... Been getting into watching politics even more than I used to, so yay for that. I <3 Hillary.

On an unrelated note, while it is obviously sad that Heath Ledger died, let's try to remember that celebrities are no more valuable human beings than anyone else who dies every day. Let this spur people to vote to get us out of Iraq or something.

Also, go see Persepolis, cause it's amazing. Um, pretty much out of stuff to say right now, but lovely to be back and I'll be sure to post something soon about Mass Effect or something. Digital orgy. Plz.

OMGWTFBBQ?

Remember back in the day when Clinton was president and we actually took steps, as a nation, towards balancing the budget and getting us towards a situation where we might possibly someday be able to NOT owe trillions of dollars?

Well, Congress just upped our credit line AGAIN, this time to $9.815 trillion, which according to Reuters is the fifth time the Bush administration has raised the limit. You know what the debt was when he took office? $5.6 trillion. Jesus fucking Christ. He's almost doubled the national debt in the six and some years he's been in office. Will the insanity never end? Fox pundits were just bitching recently that NASA is spending $500 million on an 8-year trip to space. Now, I agree that NASA spending could possibly be used better elsewhere, but according to 2006 reports, the war in Iraq costs nearly $2 BILLION a WEEK. I mean, come the fuck on. Let's get the hell out of Iraq and we could spend billions and billions on developing warp drives and finding sexy alien races to mate with, and we'd STILL be saving money.

Apparently, though, there's some good news to the equation that I stumbled upon while reading sites about national debt. According to this guy over at The Skeptical Optimist, the national debt is growing at a slower rate than our national GDP, which means that percentage of the GDP that our debt represents (it currently hovers around 64%, ranking us at like number 20 out of all nations for the highest debt) is, in fact, dropping. I guess this is good news overall, though it doesn't so much change my opinion of the Bush administration wasting money willy-nilly on war and stupid abstinence programs, but hey, I'm no economist, so maybe I should butt out of the debate over how much money we owe.

Heck, take Japan from that list of countries by their public (a.k.a. national) debt! They owe 175.5% of their GDP! Guess it sucks to be Japan right now.

Anyway, this website is wicked financial and Republican, but the kind of Republican that makes a lot of sense and is hard to argue. If only Bill-O and Sean Hannity weren't raving lunatic racists and could manage to spout off something mildly intriguing every once and a while. So I get all this guy's arguments about the economy, but still side more with democrats because I don't think a ragingly good economy logically leads to States providing social programs for their residents like they would have us believe. But maybe it'd get that way if we were all rich and happy; we might develop love for our neighbors? I dunno. I kinda lost my point here.

Oh right, I hate Bush and he's wasting my moneys in some desert in Iraq killing people. I'd much rather he spent the same amount feeding starving children or something socially responsible. But I guess I'll just get back to dreaming.

Existence, or The Day Google Found Me, part 1.

This morning, I opened my inbox and found one from SiteMeter, which tracks the (pretty lame) traffic to my blog. Since I added it, I've had 100 hits to my blog, which is kind of sad, but kind of awesome at the same time. Now most of these were site hits from Brennon's blog and, after I posted my Halloween Review at Final Girl, hits from her blog. Not until today's list did I get hits from random people on the internet.

Most of these random hits are oddly from image searches for "Pathfinder" "The Movie Pathfinder" "Pathfinder viking face" and "movie posters," all directed at the poster I put up for Viking Women and the Sea Serpent. Word. That's totally awesome that someone found my blog through that.

Not so awesome, or perhaps awesomer, is that the only regular Google search that turns up my blog is "bosoms." I need to get moving so I can have some crazy linkages to blog about until I have a giant self-referential blog of nothingness. yay!!

Perquisites, or Why Some Words Should Die

While proofing a powerpoint deck (kill me, God) today, I came across the word 'perquisites,' which naturally I assumed was an idiot's misspelling of pre-requisites, so I highlighted it and moved on with my day, feeling a little bit better about myself in the process.

Upon giving this expertly noted adjustment to the original author of the .ppt (I should be shot), I was informed that this word (Yes, Virginia, this is sadly a word. [ed. note: I f'ing like punctuation in parentheses, despite what the nazis over at the fracking Elements of English Grammar would have you believe]) is the original source of the commonly used word 'perk,' as in, 'My job has sweet perks, like hookers at the Christmas party and free booze on Fridays!' I'm sorry...

PERQUISITES? That is the stupidest f'ing word I have ever heard in my ENTIRE life, coming a close second to 'nite,' 'brite,' 'lite,' and 'rite,' the creators of which I sincerely hope are stuck headfirst into Cocytus with their toes being gnawed on by evil grammaticians.

Now, I'm not only humiliated for having incorrectly spotted a spelling error, but deeply and irrevocably disturbed at the fact that 'perquisites' even exists and will forever be a part of my lexicon, no matter how many bloody bloody marys I down in the hopes of burning it out of my brain with vodka and worcestershire sauce.

At the end of the day though, I can still (though with new difficulty) hold my head high, knowing that the beeyotch still spelled 'the' as 'th' and used the word 'area' twice in one sentence, when the first 'area' should have been 'candidate,' which is totally not at all related to 'area' and thus HA HA HA.

That's my perquisite for the day! Because if that's not a privilege or profit incidental to my regular salary or wages, I don't know what is.

Robert Jordan

So, I found out via text from Becky Rupp at 7:36am that Robert Jordan had died last night. It was kind of a weird bit of news for me to be honest. I mean, first I was shocked and disbelieving, but then I got to work and saw news stories and realized that it was true. Then I naturally thought of the long-running joke (though I guess less funny in the past year or two that he's been incredibly sick with some rare disease) that he had better finish up the Wheel of Time before he died, or he'd have a lot of angry fans to answer to. Sadly now he won't have to answer to anyone because he died while still writing the 12th book in the series, set to be the final one, wrapping up an epic that has spanned 73% of my lifetime. He published the first novel when I was 6, though of course I didn't read it until probably Freshman or Sophomore year of high school.

I can't even tell you how many days of my secondary educational career were spent with one of his novels gracing the corner of my desk, allowing me to sneak a few pages at a time whenever waiting for class to start, or after finishing busy work early, or while eating lunch. Since first finishing what was already written of the series at that point, I've re-read it with each successive book he has released, about five I believe. It's become almost tradition for me to read the whole series (9,353 pages, as of book 11) each year, just to refresh myself of its brilliance. Not that the series didn't have its low points or its problems, given that some of the later novels were a bit bogged down by the overabundance of plot and characters and advanced little of the story.

Regardless of that, though, the series he has crafted since 1990 is, to me, the landmark acheivement of fantasy writing. It contains the most complex characters, the densest plots, the most imaginative and immersive reality, that I have ever encountered in a fantasy/sci-fi novel. The characters that he brought to life for me as a teenager have remained with me, having been my constant companions during those years.

He built, using the tropes and standard elements of basically every fantasy novel ever, a unique and fully realized world that has not only entranced my imagination from the moment I opened The Eye of the World, but all things considered, probably absorbed a significant portion of the time I've spent on this Earth, whether through actual reading, online roleplaying (the truest form of geeky homage) or lengthy, passionate discussions with other fans.

It would have been hard enough next year to have said goodbye to the world, the characters, and the mythology of the Wheel of Time, but it is by far harder to say goodbye to the man who created the series that is one of those staples of fantasy writing that fans of the genre will continue to talk about for years. And harder still to think that he died before he could finish his greatest work, one that was so clearly close to his heart and one that helped him fight so hard during his illness.

I took a moment to read through the post his brother left on Robert Jordan's blog, announcing his death, and I confess that seeing Jordan's words used to describe people's loss in the comments section made me shed a few tears of my own for this great man:

“Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the Last Day.” - Ryan Breen

"Tai’shar Manetheren" - DZ

"May you shelter in the palm of the Creator’s hand Robert Jordan. And may the Mother’s last embrace welcome you home." - Gwydion Quatar

"Ars longa, vita brevis." - Vincent

‘Duty is as heavy as a mountain, Death is as light as a feather.’ - Roshan George

"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Seventh Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind arose from the Final Breath of James Oliver Rigney, Jr.. The wind was not the ending. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was /an/ ending." - Kotan


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As the blog announcing his death says, "the Dragon is gone." Rest in peace, Robert Jordan.

Blogging from Thailand?

Sup?

So, my cousin Jordonne, who got engaged over Christmas break last year to this red-headed dude named Rob, just embarked on Monday with him on a trip to Thailand. They are volunteering to teach English and other assorted good deeds to orphans and small children, bless their sweet hearts. She, following in the footsteps of millions of other travellers, started a travel blog to track their experience there (I believe they went for like 3 months, or 6 months or something.)

Their blog can be found here. Clearly, Jordonne has a penchant for exclamation marks and taking awesome pictures of monks in orange robes (this is why I love her).

All in all, I am insanely jealous of her trip and now I want to quit my job and go volunteer in Thailand. How awesome! Brennon already wants to quit, it could be a genius idea!

She's learning Thai and cooking Thai food and seeing lots of sweet Buddhist temples and all that jazz. It's my understanding as well that the dollar goes a reaaaaally long way over there, which is nice, cause it doesn't go anywhere over here. I was reading up on Thailand and their version of Buddhism (the oldest, in fact) and I still want to learn more about it. Anyone want to go to a Buddhist seminar sometime? Anyone know Where we can find such a thing? There were some vaguely creepy people Brennon and I saw near Brookline Village at some meditation place that I found in my interweb scourings is a Buddhist place, but they seemed...weird, so I don't know. Anyway, read her blog. Yay for Thailand. And so on and so forth.