Thoughts about the guy who puts interesting articles in the bathroom stall to read while defecating

I know it may be lowbrow of me to write a blog entry around this somewhat disturbing practice, but there you have it. I'm a somewhat disturbing kinda guy.

I mean, there are a lot of questions surrounding it. Who is this man? Does he leave these in here because the strain of releasing his bowels draws such a large amount of blood from his brain that he forgets he brought them in in the first place? Is it this selfsame man who leaves shreds of toilet paper littering the ground, the toilet and the handy handlebar used by handicapped people to lower themselves onto the seat? Does he think about his audience when printing out an article from the New York Times? What is he trying to tell me with today's selection: Venturing Into the Mines of Uganda, in Search of the Marburg Virus?

Did I just contract a relative of the Ebola virus when I picked up this article from where it hung limply on the handicap bar? Why did I touch this article in the first place? Ye Gods, did he wipe before or after he placed the article back on the bar? Is there enough anti-bacterial soap in the world to get out, out this damned spot? Am I bat-shit crazy for thinking so much about a toilet article? Did I just purposely make a really awful pun linking toilets, craziness, shit, bats and this article? Would it detract from my brilliance if I had? For once, I have an answer. No, it would not.

However, I still wonder which man on this floor does this. I am sitting here, avoiding work as usual, pondering whether or not I should make a return trip to the bathroom and deposit my own stinking article on that handicap bar. What would this strange mystery man say to:

Craig: I did nothing 'inappropriate' in airport bathroom

and would that make me a creep or a comic genius?

Leave your flames and encouragement below!