Battlestar Hottie

After a long, arduous wait, I finally got to start watching Battlestar Galactica recently. I'd heard many good things about it, including Joss Whedon's endorsement of it as the best TV show ever (which seeing as he is my god, predisposes me to love this show), but at every turn, I was thwarted by the TV Nazi (aka Jase, big kiss love you mean it) who would not allow me to watch it while I still hadn't seen Weeds. Well, now I've seen Weeds (also hella awesome; get it? Hella, cause it's set in Cali??) and so my BSG viewing began.

It starts innocently enough almost as though someone is giving a tour of the Enterprise, but a hotter, less gay Enterprise, when lo and behold, it's muthafuckin' Stands with a Fist! Instantly, I became gripped and my pulse pounded along with the indian-like drums that signified drama in this amazing show. (Aside: is it funny that Stands with a Fist is in a TV show where they use Indian drums? Feather not a dot.) At this point, I was excited on one hand by Mary McDonnell, but on the other...ehhhh...it's not that gay!

When I watch space shows, I want gay. I mean, Riker=gay. Sure, he does hot bitches just like Picard, and he has that manly beard going on. But! He also reminds one of a big furry Bear and you just know he and Worf had some hot bizness goin' on after-hours. Totes gay. But Battlestar Galactica was sorely lacking. It has that pseudo-lesbian looking Starbuck (pretty gay name too!), but no sexxxy mens.

UNTIL, guess who steps aboard? Captain Apollo climbs out of his "cock"pit looking sassy and prissily exasperated. As we can see from his gay-ass namesake, Apollo clearly prefers his lovers to be ripped, athletic types. Gay gay gay.

So, from this point on, the show basically is renamed Battlestar Hottie and centers around the romantic problems of Captain Apollo. Who needs evil robots when you have gay relationships? And when, for God's sake, is the bathhouse episode??