Return to Innocence

Hello dear blog,

Alas, it has been quite some time since I graced you with my presence and don't think for an instant that I forgot about you. Every day, I've been plagued with the guilt of my abandonment of you. Every day, I keep wishing and hoping for some inspiration to strike, some flash of insight that will give me a topic to expound upon within your illustrious 'pages.' And yet, every day you weep silently to yourself...your creator has left you. He built you up from scratch and thousands of lines of html (which He doesn't write because Blogger does it for him) and then left you like some cheap hooker on the side of the road after having his way with you for these long years months.

Now you know how mankind feels about God. I mean, honestly.

Fear not, kind blog. I have returned, brimming with wit and charm, overflowing with depth and clarity into the trueness of the world around us. It is within you, of all the free webspaces in existence, that I choose to leave my mark on this cruel, cruel world. Much like a dog pissing on a tree, so I shall piss forth my wisdom unto you. I shall chronicle my triumphant return to the glories of my youth and spend the remainder of October 2008 honing my already razor-sharp skills in preparation for NaNoWriMo 2008, or The Year Jon Finally Accomplishes Something, Anything, For God's Sake Do Something With Your Life, Man!

No one knows, least of all me, what direction this blog will take. Most likely it will contain some parts Sarah-Palin hatin' and some parts Gastrointestinal Diary (or, why I am so very, very alone) and maybe some parts random shit that flies out of my head like a way less impressive version of Athena. Any which way you slice it, though, the world (of the Interwebs) is a better place for my being in it.

Perhaps someday a future people will dig up the bones of our civilization and discover my blog over all others (and pray to whatever you pray to that they don't find Perez Hilton first..).

This is a topic I'd like to return to, but for now, I must go download Enigma.

Yours, ever and always,
Jon

Greetings, Earthlings.

Dear Journalman,

I decided, after much deliberation [that holy god, this font is awesome..what font is this? It just says Font. Damn.] that I need to join the ranks of fuzzy lemmings (are they fuzzy?) walking over the cliff of blogdom. My LJ is dead-like, so a fresh start was needed.

This, my friends, is my fresh start. I will use this forum to bequeath unpon you my informed opinions on politics (ha), literature, music, movies, foodstuffs and the nature of God. Also, whatever else comes to my mind. Ponderings and such, if you will.

It took quite some time, roughly two to three rotations of our beautiful little medium-sized planet, for me to select a name that was neither trite nor pretentious nor a liability for future professional employment. Bosoms makes it non-offensive. Trust me. The title was taken from a letter which Jane Austen wrote to one of her relatives regarding her heroine in Pride and Prejudice. She saw Lizzie Bennet as "light, bright and sparkling," which clearly she is.

Anyway, that's all for now, folks. Stay tuned til the next episode.

Love,
Gidaren-kun