Existence, or The Day Google Found Me, part 1.

This morning, I opened my inbox and found one from SiteMeter, which tracks the (pretty lame) traffic to my blog. Since I added it, I've had 100 hits to my blog, which is kind of sad, but kind of awesome at the same time. Now most of these were site hits from Brennon's blog and, after I posted my Halloween Review at Final Girl, hits from her blog. Not until today's list did I get hits from random people on the internet.

Most of these random hits are oddly from image searches for "Pathfinder" "The Movie Pathfinder" "Pathfinder viking face" and "movie posters," all directed at the poster I put up for Viking Women and the Sea Serpent. Word. That's totally awesome that someone found my blog through that.

Not so awesome, or perhaps awesomer, is that the only regular Google search that turns up my blog is "bosoms." I need to get moving so I can have some crazy linkages to blog about until I have a giant self-referential blog of nothingness. yay!!

Thy Bosoms Are Indeed Pendulous

Dearest Journalman,

Only six posts in the several months since I began this blog, (Dear sweet Jesus, I really enjoy this font) and I have yet to delve into the secret world within the pendulous bosoms of a stripper on the run. That's mostly because a blog devoted entirely to the thoracic cavity would bore you, my loyal journalman, and it is for thee that I write. When I was a child, not only did I win the hearts and minds of the teaching staff at my elementary school through strategically-placed hugs and apples, (Oh, the possibilities!) but I also played a lot of video games. Less hugging and apple-placing occurs now (at least with my educators), but I am still a loser who plays far too many games. One of them used to be Dragon Warrior. You played a random hero who first saved the princess from the dragon in the cave (original!) and later defeated the Dragon Lord. You could be named any of 456,976 names, given the four spaces available to you. My brother and I, naturally, stuck with the simple and to-the-opoint "THY." So struck were we by the profusion of thys, thees, thines and thous that we decided we might as well add to the mix and have them refer to our hero/ourselves as THY. Sample dialogue:

KING: THY! Thy sword swing true at thine enemies. Thou art our only hope, THY. Our hopes go with thee, THY.
THY: ::stands there silently::

THY did his damnedest, trudging through dark, dank caves and poisonous swamps in search of the Faery Flute--the only item capable of neutralizing the deadly Gold Golem. In subsequent play-throughs, we would rename our hero THEE or THOU, just to spice things up, as we slayed dragons and slimes alike.

In other news, the stress of exam time has caused me to gnaw off most of my nails. I find this to be very obnoxious. I had, after all, been doing so well, but I backslid into my old habits. I shall simply have to force myself to take conscious control of my own actions again. Whatev.

As we go into this long weekend, let us reflect on the fact that bosoms are only pendulous if they are large/old/fake and that is a-ok.

Yours in life and as long as the internet persists,
Henry A. Tilney