Thy Bosoms Are Indeed Pendulous

Dearest Journalman,

Only six posts in the several months since I began this blog, (Dear sweet Jesus, I really enjoy this font) and I have yet to delve into the secret world within the pendulous bosoms of a stripper on the run. That's mostly because a blog devoted entirely to the thoracic cavity would bore you, my loyal journalman, and it is for thee that I write. When I was a child, not only did I win the hearts and minds of the teaching staff at my elementary school through strategically-placed hugs and apples, (Oh, the possibilities!) but I also played a lot of video games. Less hugging and apple-placing occurs now (at least with my educators), but I am still a loser who plays far too many games. One of them used to be Dragon Warrior. You played a random hero who first saved the princess from the dragon in the cave (original!) and later defeated the Dragon Lord. You could be named any of 456,976 names, given the four spaces available to you. My brother and I, naturally, stuck with the simple and to-the-opoint "THY." So struck were we by the profusion of thys, thees, thines and thous that we decided we might as well add to the mix and have them refer to our hero/ourselves as THY. Sample dialogue:

KING: THY! Thy sword swing true at thine enemies. Thou art our only hope, THY. Our hopes go with thee, THY.
THY: ::stands there silently::

THY did his damnedest, trudging through dark, dank caves and poisonous swamps in search of the Faery Flute--the only item capable of neutralizing the deadly Gold Golem. In subsequent play-throughs, we would rename our hero THEE or THOU, just to spice things up, as we slayed dragons and slimes alike.

In other news, the stress of exam time has caused me to gnaw off most of my nails. I find this to be very obnoxious. I had, after all, been doing so well, but I backslid into my old habits. I shall simply have to force myself to take conscious control of my own actions again. Whatev.

As we go into this long weekend, let us reflect on the fact that bosoms are only pendulous if they are large/old/fake and that is a-ok.

Yours in life and as long as the internet persists,
Henry A. Tilney

My Slow Descent Into Alcoholism Eye Jelly

Yesterday, following a rousing day of surfing the web, emailing and reading up on the life of the recently departed Anna Nicole Smith, I shlepped myself over to school. Thursdays for some are Grey's "I'll become as bad as ER soon, give me a chance!" Anatomy night, but for me, they are Anatomy and Physiology night. Oh, the irony. I had great plans for the evening after class, so I wasn't overly anxious during class. I arrived early and began to read Wizard's First Rule, a trite-fest of a fantasy novel that uses caricatures of people to make the reader understand who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. For example, bad guys are pedophiles, murderers and rapists. Good guys save babies, promote equality and cry a lot. Anyhoo, for some reason, I can't put the damn book down (even though I've read it already), so chances are, I'll finish it (all 900 pages) before Erika and John Barleycorn finish our book club book.

Regardless, lab turned out to be a dissection of cow eyes. Come on, how awesome. I got to say, "Out, vile jelly!" while I poured the vitreous body out of the eyeball. Even better, our lens was still attached to the vitreous body, so I plopped it around on my hand and thought fondly of Dragon Warrior. Everyone should dissect an eye at some point, because they are wicked cool inside. Lining the back is this iridescent membrane thing that is greenish-blue and shines. It's hot. Hot like your face.

After class, I meandered my way over to Somerville and watched the tail end of a rousingly dramatic Grey's episode and then settled down with a dinner of popcorn and tea (mm) to watch The Descent with Devrie. As gory as the first time I saw it. Still scared me shit-less.

That is pretty much it for my day yesterday. Thrilling, I know. Today, I'm going to avoid working and try and find some food here shortly. We shall see. I miss Finale's chili, but I am unsure I want that sitting in my stomach all day. Someone amuse me, please.