I'm sitting here once more, bored to tears of pain and frustration, willing the world to turn just a lil' bit faster (harder, better and stronger can wait). Alas, I cannot actually move things with my mind. This morning on the train, I thought how useful it would be to be able to mentally hold onto the handrail and how other people would react to seeing someone able to stand utterly motionless while the train attempted to derail itself, but then I realized that in my little daydream, my hair was long and red and I was a sexy woman named Jean. I woke up from that dream real quick, as John Travolta would say.
I'd be such a bad columnist for a newspaper. I never understood how Carrie Bradshaw always had a topic every week of that Sex and the City show. I guess having a team of writers do it for you must help a bit, but still. People do that shiz all the time. I just get bored and thus blog; I rarely have something meaningful to share with you, my loyal non-readers.
But having just heard a cop siren, I did think of one thing to tell you. Last night, I had the "pleasure" of watching the new Rob Zombie remake of Halloween. Now, I won't get into the details of why it shouldn't have been remade in the first place, but I did have a bit of a quibble with his atrocious dialogue. I mean, this man writes like an ADD 12-year old with the mouth of a really disgusting 30-year old. There are only so many times I can hear the words "slut" "whore" "cunt" "faggot" "bitch" "ass" and "cum" from the mouths of children before the totally unnecessary shock value wears off. I mean, ok, so Regan in The Exorcist said "your mother sucks cocks in hell" and "Let Jesus fuck me," but it was somewhat spread out and she sounded like a demon when she said it. All of this adds to a disturbing and shocking movie experience. Zombie's film has so much over-the-top profanity that it is completely and utterly meaningless. You don't feel like these people are disturbed for having said these things; you just think they have nothing to say but filth. Basically, they watched ntohing but Rob Zombie films growing up and this is the product. BORING! Also, Rob, your teenaged girl characters are so far from believable when they refer to cops as bacon and to cop cars as Baconmobiles. Guys call cops bacon; I've yet to meet a girl who does, certainly not a girl who looks like that.
Come to think of it, maybe he should remake the Exorcist! It'll be even MORE disturbing if the priest and Regan's mom sit down to talk about her and the dialogue goes something like this:
Father Karras: "Mrs. MacNeil, your daughter is fucking crazy like a drunken slut on PCP."
Chris MacNeil: "Fuck off, Father Fuckface. My fucking daughter needs your help, asswipe, so stop your fucking bitching over that whore of a mother you had and get to exorcizing, slut! Or can't your faggot ass even do that, you inept little bitch."
Father Karras: "Cunt."
--
I think it's comic gold.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Thoughts about the guy who puts interesting articles in the bathroom stall to read while defecating
I know it may be lowbrow of me to write a blog entry around this somewhat disturbing practice, but there you have it. I'm a somewhat disturbing kinda guy.
I mean, there are a lot of questions surrounding it. Who is this man? Does he leave these in here because the strain of releasing his bowels draws such a large amount of blood from his brain that he forgets he brought them in in the first place? Is it this selfsame man who leaves shreds of toilet paper littering the ground, the toilet and the handy handlebar used by handicapped people to lower themselves onto the seat? Does he think about his audience when printing out an article from the New York Times? What is he trying to tell me with today's selection: Venturing Into the Mines of Uganda, in Search of the Marburg Virus?
Did I just contract a relative of the Ebola virus when I picked up this article from where it hung limply on the handicap bar? Why did I touch this article in the first place? Ye Gods, did he wipe before or after he placed the article back on the bar? Is there enough anti-bacterial soap in the world to get out, out this damned spot? Am I bat-shit crazy for thinking so much about a toilet article? Did I just purposely make a really awful pun linking toilets, craziness, shit, bats and this article? Would it detract from my brilliance if I had? For once, I have an answer. No, it would not.
However, I still wonder which man on this floor does this. I am sitting here, avoiding work as usual, pondering whether or not I should make a return trip to the bathroom and deposit my own stinking article on that handicap bar. What would this strange mystery man say to:
Craig: I did nothing 'inappropriate' in airport bathroom
and would that make me a creep or a comic genius?
Leave your flames and encouragement below!
I mean, there are a lot of questions surrounding it. Who is this man? Does he leave these in here because the strain of releasing his bowels draws such a large amount of blood from his brain that he forgets he brought them in in the first place? Is it this selfsame man who leaves shreds of toilet paper littering the ground, the toilet and the handy handlebar used by handicapped people to lower themselves onto the seat? Does he think about his audience when printing out an article from the New York Times? What is he trying to tell me with today's selection: Venturing Into the Mines of Uganda, in Search of the Marburg Virus?
Did I just contract a relative of the Ebola virus when I picked up this article from where it hung limply on the handicap bar? Why did I touch this article in the first place? Ye Gods, did he wipe before or after he placed the article back on the bar? Is there enough anti-bacterial soap in the world to get out, out this damned spot? Am I bat-shit crazy for thinking so much about a toilet article? Did I just purposely make a really awful pun linking toilets, craziness, shit, bats and this article? Would it detract from my brilliance if I had? For once, I have an answer. No, it would not.
However, I still wonder which man on this floor does this. I am sitting here, avoiding work as usual, pondering whether or not I should make a return trip to the bathroom and deposit my own stinking article on that handicap bar. What would this strange mystery man say to:
Craig: I did nothing 'inappropriate' in airport bathroom
and would that make me a creep or a comic genius?
Leave your flames and encouragement below!
See below.
I've been informed that my references to journalman and henry tilney are less than amusing so we'll try a few without them and see how it goes.
My excitement has dimmed somewhat since I discovered the Dragonlance movie, but that won't stop Rebecca and me from seeing it as soon as it comes outin theatres straight to DVD. I may even need to put on my wizard hat and gold face paint and really make a night of it. You better believe that as soon as I have a release date you will have a Google invitation to watch this lil' nugget of cinematic brilliance. Possibly a double-feature of Dragonlance and Dungeons and Dragons, just to really short-circuit your minds. Gosh, I might have just found my plans for the best night ever.
But alas, now I'm back to the real world of 'working' and not 'geeking out.' I've gotta say, work is wildly overrated. I've found you can really avoid most of it by doing something immediately when asked while the person is standing over your shoulder. Then, they just assume you're always working at hyper-speed and walk back to their desks marvelling at your ability to be the real life version of the Bionic Woman, minus the boobs.
Now if only I were actually a bionic man, maybe I could just pull coffee out of the replicator in my chest, rather than being forced to walk across the street to get it. God, that'd be fun. I bet it's that gross packet coffee though, and not real coffee.
Last night, my fragile psyche was subjected to an incredibly suspenseful movie called High Tension. Without giving anything away of the plot's twist...aliens. It's always aliens. Contact, Signs, Invasion, War of the Worlds, The Others. COOL IT WITH THE ALIENS, DAMNIT!
Anyway, it's not aliens. Buuut, AvP 2 is coming out. Tagline: In Space...No One Can Hear You Scream (been there don't that), On Earth...It Doesn't Matter.
...
REALLY?
Whoever wrote that should probably receive a concrete saw to the gut.
No, but really, the twist was pretty unsatisfying. Basically, The Village had a better twist. At least that movie made sense. High Tension was an enjoyable movie though. Very pulse-pounding.
I think that's all for now. Back later with more excitement about my life.
My excitement has dimmed somewhat since I discovered the Dragonlance movie, but that won't stop Rebecca and me from seeing it as soon as it comes out
But alas, now I'm back to the real world of 'working' and not 'geeking out.' I've gotta say, work is wildly overrated. I've found you can really avoid most of it by doing something immediately when asked while the person is standing over your shoulder. Then, they just assume you're always working at hyper-speed and walk back to their desks marvelling at your ability to be the real life version of the Bionic Woman, minus the boobs.
Now if only I were actually a bionic man, maybe I could just pull coffee out of the replicator in my chest, rather than being forced to walk across the street to get it. God, that'd be fun. I bet it's that gross packet coffee though, and not real coffee.
Last night, my fragile psyche was subjected to an incredibly suspenseful movie called High Tension. Without giving anything away of the plot's twist...aliens. It's always aliens. Contact, Signs, Invasion, War of the Worlds, The Others. COOL IT WITH THE ALIENS, DAMNIT!
Anyway, it's not aliens. Buuut, AvP 2 is coming out. Tagline: In Space...No One Can Hear You Scream (been there don't that), On Earth...It Doesn't Matter.
...
REALLY?
Whoever wrote that should probably receive a concrete saw to the gut.
No, but really, the twist was pretty unsatisfying. Basically, The Village had a better twist. At least that movie made sense. High Tension was an enjoyable movie though. Very pulse-pounding.
I think that's all for now. Back later with more excitement about my life.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Random Ramblings and...OMIGOD DRAGONLANCE MOVIE!?
Dearest Journalman,
I know it's been some time since we last spoke. Nay, 'tis been almost four whole months. Four months without my sweet nothings whispered tenderly in your ear. Four months shivering in cold darkness of your lonely, lonely soul with nary a breath of fresh air or a shaft of penetrating sunlight from my brow, which glistens with the sweat of my intellect. Four months, in short, of Hell. I feel your pain, or rather, I caused your pain and thus bask in it, drawing strength from your suffering, O Journalman. O, how I long for the days where I would post in ye once, twice, thrice, sometimes even thrice plus four times a day! Time flies when you're growing up, living in what passes for poverty among the middle class, working retail and then entering the real(ly boring) world of professionalism.
Yet you've been a constant rock, Journalman. The veritable St. Peter of my soul. Never-changing in your affections and unwavering in your steadfast solidarity.
Enough with the buttering up of my inner parliament, and onto the show: Per usual, I lack a topic for the day. It has been suggested by John Barleycorn that I write an entry about the posts I see all the time in the GameFAQ forums, but he ninja'd that one straight out of my cold, dead hands and I am left with nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.
I often miss the capacity to spout off quotes in the most obnoxiously erudite manner that I had in college. Time and lack of constantly being exposed to new poetry and novels have taken their toll on me...
On the other hand, who really cares? I'm moving on to new and better things, like my obsession du jour, www.allposters.com. I've spent the majority of my working day ($18/hr!) browsing movie posters on this website, in an attempt to find either a) new movies to netflix or b) movie posters of movies I have seen to put up in my new apartment with Tara and Jason. The best find of the day is clearly this:
I'm not usually one to fall for pulp-y posters and such, but this movie clearly cannot be anything but amazing. I mean, THIS is what Pathfinder should have been. Of course, Viking women (even scantily clad ones) do less for me than a big, sweaty Eomer, but we can't have everything. I can only hope that netflix has this movie and that I can somehow get my trembling hands on it before I'm forced to run around my apartment in rags, brandishing a spatula spear and making Amazon warrior calls, just to get my fix of bad movies. Not to go entirely off topic or anything, but can we all just note that Eomer played Caesar on Xena: Warrior Princess?? That's hot!
I may have to buy Xena on DVD. I know what you're all thinking. There goes Henry A. Tilney again, buying up DVDs of fantasy shows, but come on. Awesome. I wish Lucy Lawless had been in more stuff.
I'm sorry, can we BACK THE FUCK UP! JUST ONE SECOND!
In my IMDB perusal of Lucy Lawless' career, I just saw that she is providing the voice for Goldmoon in the animated feature film Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight! I'm sorry, why did I not know about this!? If this is some sort of internet rumour, and is not real, I will cry. How awesome! and let's look at who they say is going to be doing voices!!!
Michael Rosenbaum - Tanis Half-Elven
Kiefer Sutherland - Raistlin Majere
Lucy Lawless - Goldmoon
Michelle Trachtenberg - Tika
I may die if this actually comes out. I think I'm actually TOO excited to write anything else about it. /end geek rant.
I know it's been some time since we last spoke. Nay, 'tis been almost four whole months. Four months without my sweet nothings whispered tenderly in your ear. Four months shivering in cold darkness of your lonely, lonely soul with nary a breath of fresh air or a shaft of penetrating sunlight from my brow, which glistens with the sweat of my intellect. Four months, in short, of Hell. I feel your pain, or rather, I caused your pain and thus bask in it, drawing strength from your suffering, O Journalman. O, how I long for the days where I would post in ye once, twice, thrice, sometimes even thrice plus four times a day! Time flies when you're growing up, living in what passes for poverty among the middle class, working retail and then entering the real(ly boring) world of professionalism.
Yet you've been a constant rock, Journalman. The veritable St. Peter of my soul. Never-changing in your affections and unwavering in your steadfast solidarity.
Enough with the buttering up of my inner parliament, and onto the show: Per usual, I lack a topic for the day. It has been suggested by John Barleycorn that I write an entry about the posts I see all the time in the GameFAQ forums, but he ninja'd that one straight out of my cold, dead hands and I am left with nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.
I often miss the capacity to spout off quotes in the most obnoxiously erudite manner that I had in college. Time and lack of constantly being exposed to new poetry and novels have taken their toll on me...
On the other hand, who really cares? I'm moving on to new and better things, like my obsession du jour, www.allposters.com. I've spent the majority of my working day ($18/hr!) browsing movie posters on this website, in an attempt to find either a) new movies to netflix or b) movie posters of movies I have seen to put up in my new apartment with Tara and Jason. The best find of the day is clearly this:
I'm not usually one to fall for pulp-y posters and such, but this movie clearly cannot be anything but amazing. I mean, THIS is what Pathfinder should have been. Of course, Viking women (even scantily clad ones) do less for me than a big, sweaty Eomer, but we can't have everything. I can only hope that netflix has this movie and that I can somehow get my trembling hands on it before I'm forced to run around my apartment in rags, brandishing a spatula spear and making Amazon warrior calls, just to get my fix of bad movies. Not to go entirely off topic or anything, but can we all just note that Eomer played Caesar on Xena: Warrior Princess?? That's hot!
I may have to buy Xena on DVD. I know what you're all thinking. There goes Henry A. Tilney again, buying up DVDs of fantasy shows, but come on. Awesome. I wish Lucy Lawless had been in more stuff.
I'm sorry, can we BACK THE FUCK UP! JUST ONE SECOND!
In my IMDB perusal of Lucy Lawless' career, I just saw that she is providing the voice for Goldmoon in the animated feature film Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight! I'm sorry, why did I not know about this!? If this is some sort of internet rumour, and is not real, I will cry. How awesome! and let's look at who they say is going to be doing voices!!!
Michael Rosenbaum - Tanis Half-Elven
Kiefer Sutherland - Raistlin Majere
Lucy Lawless - Goldmoon
Michelle Trachtenberg - Tika
I may die if this actually comes out. I think I'm actually TOO excited to write anything else about it. /end geek rant.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Let Me Pencil That In
Dearest Journalman of My Soul,
In keeping with the trend of confessing my darkest secrets to you, I have another one: Google is taking over my life. It has everything I could ever need to organize my otherwise whirlwind of a life. In fact, the How-To of the Day today on my Google homepage is How To Balance School and Word as an Adult, something that I personally find useful, seeing as I do just that. And it gave me some useful tips, such as opening an online calendar to keep track of tests and work things and to schedule study time. I think this is fantastic, so I went ahead and added my whole life to my calendar. Now, if only I had a blackberry and could check my Google Calendar from anywhere.
(Side note: The best part of my job-- getting called sweetie by giant African men. I don't know if this is just because they want to suck up and think that's the best way into my heart, or whether it's because I'm such a flaming queen that they assume I'm a woman, but...I hope not the latter.)
Well, last night I decided to delve once more into the wonderful world of making Chili. Jenna has this amazing(ly easy) recipe, involving beef/turkey, bell peppers, onions and a crapton of canned beans, tomatoes, tomato sauce and refried beans. It fills a giant soup pot to the rim, which is totally awesome, but since my kitchen stuff is totally disorganized, it led to a lack of tupperware to contain my concoction. I ended up bringing about a gallon of it to work today in the hopes that someone will help me to eat it all. I'm slowly building up a repertoire of foodstuffs that I can cook. This is going against years of being kept out of the kitchen when my mom cooked dinner and only being allowed to assist during cake- or cookie-making. I still have a phobia of baking pies because she couldn't do it. You'd think this would cause me to be more motivated to bake a freaking pie, just to prove that I'm a better baker, but it just makes me nervous. But I'm very much into cooking my own meals right now. I've been spending entirely too much money on eating out and ordering in (not to mention booze and video games...or crack). Last night's bean and beef extravaganza cost me a total of 27 dollars and probably yielded something around 15 servings. Pretty good, I'd say.
In other news, I have some sort of uncontrollable urge to own every edition of every Final Fantasy game, even when one version is fully sufficient. Take Final Fantasy IV. I played it on Super Nintendo, I've played the original SNES version on an emulator, I've played the harder JP version of the SNES game on an emulator, I bought FF IV Advance for the Game Boy Advance, despite having already played and beaten the one Chris owned. Now, to taunt me, they are developing a DS version of Final Fantasy IV, which I imagine will include some touch screen capabilities like the DS version of Final Fantasy III (which I found insanely dull after a while). I am hoping (obviously) that this version of Final Fantasy IV will have some more enhanced touch screen stuff, but it's unlikely, because honestly what would you add to a Final Fantasy game that would require a touch screen. Maybe at least they'll do something with the two screens. FFIII DS just put a stupid world map on the top screen, which made it silly that there was a button to pull up the world map, because it just copied what was on the top screen onto the bottom screen and what's the point of that!? REALLY NOW! At least I completed the GBA version of FFIV before this one is created. It would be sad if they released a DS version of FFVI, because I'd buy it and I haven't even done the extra content on FFVI Advance yet.
Ok, I'm geeked out. I may have just lost some of the few friends I have left.
Love,
Me
In keeping with the trend of confessing my darkest secrets to you, I have another one: Google is taking over my life. It has everything I could ever need to organize my otherwise whirlwind of a life. In fact, the How-To of the Day today on my Google homepage is How To Balance School and Word as an Adult, something that I personally find useful, seeing as I do just that. And it gave me some useful tips, such as opening an online calendar to keep track of tests and work things and to schedule study time. I think this is fantastic, so I went ahead and added my whole life to my calendar. Now, if only I had a blackberry and could check my Google Calendar from anywhere.
(Side note: The best part of my job-- getting called sweetie by giant African men. I don't know if this is just because they want to suck up and think that's the best way into my heart, or whether it's because I'm such a flaming queen that they assume I'm a woman, but...I hope not the latter.)
Well, last night I decided to delve once more into the wonderful world of making Chili. Jenna has this amazing(ly easy) recipe, involving beef/turkey, bell peppers, onions and a crapton of canned beans, tomatoes, tomato sauce and refried beans. It fills a giant soup pot to the rim, which is totally awesome, but since my kitchen stuff is totally disorganized, it led to a lack of tupperware to contain my concoction. I ended up bringing about a gallon of it to work today in the hopes that someone will help me to eat it all. I'm slowly building up a repertoire of foodstuffs that I can cook. This is going against years of being kept out of the kitchen when my mom cooked dinner and only being allowed to assist during cake- or cookie-making. I still have a phobia of baking pies because she couldn't do it. You'd think this would cause me to be more motivated to bake a freaking pie, just to prove that I'm a better baker, but it just makes me nervous. But I'm very much into cooking my own meals right now. I've been spending entirely too much money on eating out and ordering in (not to mention booze and video games...or crack). Last night's bean and beef extravaganza cost me a total of 27 dollars and probably yielded something around 15 servings. Pretty good, I'd say.
In other news, I have some sort of uncontrollable urge to own every edition of every Final Fantasy game, even when one version is fully sufficient. Take Final Fantasy IV. I played it on Super Nintendo, I've played the original SNES version on an emulator, I've played the harder JP version of the SNES game on an emulator, I bought FF IV Advance for the Game Boy Advance, despite having already played and beaten the one Chris owned. Now, to taunt me, they are developing a DS version of Final Fantasy IV, which I imagine will include some touch screen capabilities like the DS version of Final Fantasy III (which I found insanely dull after a while). I am hoping (obviously) that this version of Final Fantasy IV will have some more enhanced touch screen stuff, but it's unlikely, because honestly what would you add to a Final Fantasy game that would require a touch screen. Maybe at least they'll do something with the two screens. FFIII DS just put a stupid world map on the top screen, which made it silly that there was a button to pull up the world map, because it just copied what was on the top screen onto the bottom screen and what's the point of that!? REALLY NOW! At least I completed the GBA version of FFIV before this one is created. It would be sad if they released a DS version of FFVI, because I'd buy it and I haven't even done the extra content on FFVI Advance yet.
Ok, I'm geeked out. I may have just lost some of the few friends I have left.
Love,
Me
Friday, May 4, 2007
Over and Over Again
Journalman,
There's something about this song that pulls up memories from my past. The memories are of how little I like it. Mostly because Tara sang it over and over again. Ba dum pum. ...
Anyway, this was a totally transparent excuse to talk to you again. You don't mind; you never mind, so long as you get a little slice of my love now and again. But there's no need to be waiting for tonight, Journalman, you can have it right now. I don't really have anything in particular to blog about besides my everpresent ennui, and we all know how interesting that is.
Let me just say that I am feeling very off-with-their-head towards whoever set the radio to Magic 106.7. My next job had better play nothing but Swedish Death Metal or I'm going to be having words with HR. Can you feel the love tonight?
Hold on, what was I talking about again? Today, I busted out some old jeans that I purchased during my hipster trash period, thinking that the tighter my pants were, the more people would love me. Alas, I attracted the same few looks of vague disinterest and borderline disgust that I always have. I just cried behind my fake black-rimmed glasses.
So, Journalman, tonight we're going out to get some food (steak tips pour moi) and some boissons (probably Tom Collins, cause I'm an old man) at Flash's before partaking of the newest addition to the Spiderman family. Spiderman 3 has already affected me in one profound way: I will never read another NY Times review. Anyone who writes in a review of SPIDERMAN 3 that it's shady (har har) that they use black as a symbol for evil deserves to be shot, metaphorically speaking. Or maybe tarred and feathered, or is that too racially charged for the Times. Aren't we beyond being sensitive to colors being bad having any relationship with race? White is good and black is evil in color symbology. Get over it. Ugh.
Alright, John Barleycorn just arrived, so off I go on my white horse to get boozy.
Love,
Henry A. Tilney
There's something about this song that pulls up memories from my past. The memories are of how little I like it. Mostly because Tara sang it over and over again. Ba dum pum. ...
Anyway, this was a totally transparent excuse to talk to you again. You don't mind; you never mind, so long as you get a little slice of my love now and again. But there's no need to be waiting for tonight, Journalman, you can have it right now. I don't really have anything in particular to blog about besides my everpresent ennui, and we all know how interesting that is.
Let me just say that I am feeling very off-with-their-head towards whoever set the radio to Magic 106.7. My next job had better play nothing but Swedish Death Metal or I'm going to be having words with HR. Can you feel the love tonight?
Hold on, what was I talking about again? Today, I busted out some old jeans that I purchased during my hipster trash period, thinking that the tighter my pants were, the more people would love me. Alas, I attracted the same few looks of vague disinterest and borderline disgust that I always have. I just cried behind my fake black-rimmed glasses.
So, Journalman, tonight we're going out to get some food (steak tips pour moi) and some boissons (probably Tom Collins, cause I'm an old man) at Flash's before partaking of the newest addition to the Spiderman family. Spiderman 3 has already affected me in one profound way: I will never read another NY Times review. Anyone who writes in a review of SPIDERMAN 3 that it's shady (har har) that they use black as a symbol for evil deserves to be shot, metaphorically speaking. Or maybe tarred and feathered, or is that too racially charged for the Times. Aren't we beyond being sensitive to colors being bad having any relationship with race? White is good and black is evil in color symbology. Get over it. Ugh.
Alright, John Barleycorn just arrived, so off I go on my white horse to get boozy.
Love,
Henry A. Tilney
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Dearest Journalman,
I know I say this a lot, but:
a) We should hang out more often. You're witty and charming and you never talk back without permission. All in all, you're wonderful.
and b) This font rocks my socks.
Regardless, I come to you with a little problem. No, it's nothing so salacious as crack addiction or raging alcoholism. I would never! Instead, it is about my sad addiction to video game addiction.
Yes, I have reached all new lows when it comes to my uncontrollable urges to play games set in fantasy worlds where I can pretend to me anything from a playboy prince to a white bear with a pom-pom on my head. Sometimes, when the mood strikes, I even bring these characters that I so lovingly spend my free time with into the bedroom, much to the chagrin of my lover. It is only when I insist on calling him Zelda that he truly objects. Whatever, he's prejudiced against the letter Z.
In the past six months, I can't even imagine how much of my income has been funneled into purchasing video games and video game paraphernalia. It even reached a point briefly where I was taking my Nintendo DS with me into the bathroom in lieu of reading one of those silly bathroom readers and/or simply doing my business without accessories like normal people.
Ok, this topic bores me now. I had initially opened up Blogger simply to aide in my distraction from work. Anything to avoid being here in thought, since I can't do much about being here physically. I hate when I have no point and then I try to write something anyway and a point does not develop itself. How disappointing.
In other news, my sweet, wonderful man-lover John Barleycorn bought me a Wii this past weekend. By other news, I apparently meant the news I was previously talking about before I got bored with this entry. I have only played the Wii a little bit so far, but it is promising in the fun department. Link rides around on a pony and dishes out hurt to neighboring plants via a wooden sword that he swings when I stupidly shake the wiimote back and forth. I am looking forward to delving into the whole sports thing, but I must say, I'm more intrigued by puzzles and Zelda.
Oh Journalman. Think of me in my absence.
Love,
Henry A. Tilney
I know I say this a lot, but:
a) We should hang out more often. You're witty and charming and you never talk back without permission. All in all, you're wonderful.
and b) This font rocks my socks.
Regardless, I come to you with a little problem. No, it's nothing so salacious as crack addiction or raging alcoholism. I would never! Instead, it is about my sad addiction to video game addiction.
Yes, I have reached all new lows when it comes to my uncontrollable urges to play games set in fantasy worlds where I can pretend to me anything from a playboy prince to a white bear with a pom-pom on my head. Sometimes, when the mood strikes, I even bring these characters that I so lovingly spend my free time with into the bedroom, much to the chagrin of my lover. It is only when I insist on calling him Zelda that he truly objects. Whatever, he's prejudiced against the letter Z.
In the past six months, I can't even imagine how much of my income has been funneled into purchasing video games and video game paraphernalia. It even reached a point briefly where I was taking my Nintendo DS with me into the bathroom in lieu of reading one of those silly bathroom readers and/or simply doing my business without accessories like normal people.
Ok, this topic bores me now. I had initially opened up Blogger simply to aide in my distraction from work. Anything to avoid being here in thought, since I can't do much about being here physically. I hate when I have no point and then I try to write something anyway and a point does not develop itself. How disappointing.
In other news, my sweet, wonderful man-lover John Barleycorn bought me a Wii this past weekend. By other news, I apparently meant the news I was previously talking about before I got bored with this entry. I have only played the Wii a little bit so far, but it is promising in the fun department. Link rides around on a pony and dishes out hurt to neighboring plants via a wooden sword that he swings when I stupidly shake the wiimote back and forth. I am looking forward to delving into the whole sports thing, but I must say, I'm more intrigued by puzzles and Zelda.
Oh Journalman. Think of me in my absence.
Love,
Henry A. Tilney
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
